The Sinatra Thesis Contends that there is no Interchange Among the Flowers Watching Television from their Industrial Water Heater

 

Racket, Gibberish, and Slop

The racket is the music/noise

like saxophones in hell.

The gibberish is literature

that doesn't ring a bell.

The slop is graphic art that

takes its cue from the unwell.

These are my aesthetic leanings.

Not that you can tell.

I'm through with meditation.

I'm done meditating.  I mean it this time.  I'm sick of it.  I've been meditating regularly for over 7 years now and I haven't seen any "changes" in my life.  I haven't become a better person.  I haven't become more easy-going or less angry.  I don't see the point of wasting any more time on this.  I've tried dozens of methods and approaches.  Something will work and I think, "Alright!  I've finally got it!  I've got something that works!" And then after a day or two I'm right back where I was.  I don't see the point in continuing to meditate if there's not some benefit to it.  I feel awful about 80% of my waking life.  Meditation was supposed to help with that.  You see all these celebrities hailing meditation and claiming what a wonderful difference it has made in their lives, but I don't see shit.

The above drawing is from my old Toadsgoboad blog.  It was done approximately 10 years ago to the day.  Something's wrong with me.  I can't find focus.  My drawings from 10 years ago seem so much better, even though my technique has evolved and improved.

The Lampclouding Universe

These 4 maps together form the Lampclouding universe.  The square in the middle of the 4 maps in the first photo is where the "Void" is.  I have theorized that the Void is the chasm that separates the universe from the Red Party, the latter of which is kind of like the "afterlife" or something.  Thus, the wabi sabi nature of the Void represents the "chaos" in the chasm which must be leapt in order to reach the Red Party. The fact that the 4 maps are only tangentially connected represents the fact that one can only move from the area represented by one map to another through nebulously defined "magical" means.

 

New Year, Renewed Focus and Resolve

 This is important: I know you want to do a “masterpiece,” and you’ve been influenced lately by the Norman Rockwell version of a “masterpiece,” and that you’ll be influenced by somebody else in the future, but ultimately, your path lies through the land of illustration, comics, commercial art, and children’s books.  You mustn’t get depressed and out-of-sorts because you’re not living up to some other ideal.  I know you’re a little upset at the initial phase of this first work you’ve started for the new year, but, believe me, it can work and it will work.  Anything can work.  Be true to this vision of your work.  It will be OK.

Next, you've got to find the resolve to stop wasting so much time looking at stuff online and searching for something worth watching online. Listen to CDs or the MP3 player or nothing at all. You're wasting too much time and getting your thoughts in a muddle.

The above painting is from my old blog, https://artistlanceash.blogspot.com/

I have no idea what the title is or how old it is.  I put it here as some kind of statement.